I saw this lil' gem in the loo of a cafe last weekend, and, due to the glories of modern technology, I was able to capture it with my cellphone forever and ever. Or at least until I inadvertantly hit 'erase'.
But as I was hovering there over the pot, I began to ponder the age-old question: how much of attraction is based on physical beauty?
I am not a beautiful woman. I am attractive, but I am certainly not signing on to be the next Gisele for Victoria's Secret. I grew up a fat chick, so I long relied on my wit (of which you are luckily now experiencing the razor-sharpness) and intellect, since I felt no sane man could possibly be attracted to me. But as I've gotten older and leaner, I've learned not only that physical beauty is important, but more importantly, how it is important.
Think about it: when you first meet someone, can you say "Damn, look at the sense of humor on him!" No. That happens a bit after. But when you first meet someone, there's usually some sort of something that is aesthetically pleasing enough to make you want to know some more.
Now lest y'all think this is a rail against fuglies, let me note that so much of percieved beauty is merely attitude. I have not had a problem dating at all since my mid-20s. While that does co-incide to the time during which I lost weight, the difference is all in my attitude: the combination of confidence, knowing what I want, and being brazen enough to voice it seems to be doing the trick.
I think my epiphany happened when I went to a hot springs retreat in California. While I've always been happy to skinny dip, this was the first time I'd be naked around loads of strangers for the bulk of my time there. Since clothing was 'optional', I'd brought a bathing suit and figured I'd just don that if I felt too awkward. However, as soon as I got to the changing room, I realized how ludicrous it was since everyone else was buck nekkid. When in Rome, right? I also noticed the vast array of body types around me: old, young, fat, lean, flabby, toned - you name it. And no one cared. That's perhaps what was most beautiful. I realized that there would always be someone who was "more" than me in some way - better tits, a sweeter ass, leaner legs, whatever. But since everyone was so comfortable in their own skins there, no one stood out as being ugly. It was the confidence and comfort that made it so.
When I met The Bloke earlier this year, I was attracted to his eyes and the way he carried himself. He was tall and lean and came across as a thoughtful, confident man. As I chatted to him 
and learned a bit more, I was greatly intrigued. "You should call me," I told him. He didn't know what to make of me. The next time we ran into each other, he asked me about it. "Well, you're hot," I told him. And he was. And he responded in kind. I don't think he was enamoured with my stunning beauty so much as my boldness. (Of course enjoying a good fuck helps too, but I digress...)
All of this brings me back to the original question: How much of attraction is based on physical beauty? I'd say about half. It certainly helps get attention. But so much more is confidence and sass.
Think Mae West. Attractive? Sure. But her saucy wit and her delight in carnal pleasures got her much further than her baby blues.
Plus she was from Brooklyn. 'Nuff said.
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